- Do you enjoy working for the enjoyment of others for no pay?
- Love listening to people whining about how “it's better in Angeles” or “I haven't had my money's worth yet” or “this hash is so badly run” or “this beer isn’t cold enough” or “I don’t like this brand of bottled water” etc etc etc?
- Are you able to listen to endless heard-it-all-before suggestions whilst nodding your head and making sympathetic noises?
- Do you suffer fools gladly?
- Would you like to help ease the burden on the current team and make PGH3 a better hash for everyone?
If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, then Puerto Galera Hash House Harriers is looking for people like you! Volunteer1 to work with us and enjoy a rewarding, satisfying career while gaining valuable experience which is sure to look great on any resume!
The following positions are available – apply now2 on Facebook or at any Saturday hash circle!
- co-ordinate hares and venues for weekly and special runs
- oversee and manage other volunteers to ensure smooth run planning
- conduct ceremonies at the On-Home
- be able to memorize and sing hash songs in tune
- keep order in the circle
- co-ordinate with Hash Wanker to deal with complaints and free advice from arseholes who couldn’t manage a pissup in a brewery
- discipline wayward hashers and miscellaneous fuckwits referred from Hash Wanker
- perform all of the above duties whilst drunk
- collect money at run sign-in
- accurately update the run records
- work calmly under pressure processing large numbers of sign-ins including late-comers
- handle cash with accuracy and integrity
- spend hours in the bank to make deposits and withdrawals as required
- pay suppliers
- produce financial reports, profit/loss statements and expenditure summaries in a timely manner
- maintain the hash PC and associated software applications
- perform all of the above duties with a hangover
- update the hash website to reflect changes in the weekly schedule
- post notices of special events
- maintain separate mailing lists of local, Philippines and international hashers
- produce and send mailouts for general notices and special events
- produce flyers, stickers and other promotional material as required
- write articles for ‘Hasher’ magazine to promote local events internationally
- manage special run participant lists based on webform responses
- produce anticipated shirt size lists and pass these on to hasherdabbery
- handle email and website enquiries
- accurately estimate the quantity of drinks required for each weekly hash and special hashes
- arrange for the purchase and delivery to Capt’n Greggs of beer, soft drinks and water
- arrange for the purchase and delivery of ice
- ensure ice and drinks are placed in coolers in time for the hash
- oversee the loading and unloading of drinks
- purchase replacement coolers as required
- make an inventory of consumed/leftover drinks on a weekly basis and report to hash cash
- ensure empty bottles are securely stored and returned to the supplier weekly
- coordinate supply and transportation of Gin Juice to the hash
- organize jeeps and bangkas for regular and special runs
- be ready to organize extra jeeps at a moment’s notice if extra runners show up
- negotiate standard hash price with operators for various destinations
- pay jeep and bangka suppliers in coordination with Hash Cash
- coordinate the design of t-shirts and other apparel
- estimate requirements with respect to quantity and sizes
- procure blank garments from suppliers
- evaluate screen printers and quotations
- coordinate financial transactions with Hash Cash
- manage inventory
- distribute garments at sign-in
- Carry the Hash 1st Aid Kit on hash
- Apply 1st Aid to broken hashers
- Maintain the 1st Aid Kit
- Ensure 1st Aid Kit doesn't go missing
- wear a silly hat to the hash
- deal with useless cunts who have free advice or complaints
- refer said useless cunts to Grand Master for discipline and possible banishment
- maintain a state of dignified inebriation at all times
Note 1: APPLICANTS ARE REMINDED THAT PUERTO GALERA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS IS A NON-PROFIT CLUB AND AS SUCH THERE IS NO REMUNERATION FOR THE ABOVE POSITIONS.
THAT’S NO REMUNERATION AS IN: NOTHING - WALA - NADA - NICHTS - ZIP - RIEN - INGENTING - INTET - NIETS - FAIC - 아무것도 - 何もありません
Note 2: applicants with 30 years in the public service need not apply